Wedding Ceremony Readings: Five Non-Religious Options Worth Considering
Most couples getting married in a civil ceremony end up wanting a reading. Something between the vows and the declarations that pauses the room for a moment, and gives whoever’s reading it a small role in the day. The problem is that the internet has decided there are about ten “wedding readings” and they seem to have been used at almost every civil ceremony in the country since 1998.
You don’t have to use those. Below are five well-chosen non-religious readings — a mix of moving, funny and distinctive — with a note on the tone each one sets, who it suits, and the practical bit of reading it well on the day.
Before You Choose: A Few Things to Look For
Worth setting some criteria before diving in. The readings that work best in a civil ceremony tend to share four qualities.
They’re short. Between 60 and 120 seconds read aloud. Any longer and the room drifts.
They say something specific about love or marriage. Not just “two hearts becoming one.” Something with a real observation about being with another person.
The person reading them can read them aloud. Print it out, hand it over, and have them try it once. If they trip on words or can’t manage the rhythm, pick something else.
They don’t compete with the vows. Save your best emotional beats for what you’re saying to each other. The reading is a supporting act.
Here are five that work well.
1. Extract From Captain Corelli’s Mandolin — Louis de Bernières
The passage that begins “Love is a temporary madness…” and continues through to describe love as “what is left over when being in love has burned away.”
Why it works. It’s honest. It acknowledges that the giddy first-year-of-love feeling settles into something quieter over time, and argues that the quieter version is the real thing. Guests over 50 nod along. Couples getting married for the second time particularly love it.
Best for. Any wedding where you want a moving prose reading with substance. Reads well by an older family member — parent, grandparent, godparent — whose life experience gives the words weight.
Watch for. It’s been used a lot. If you want the reading to feel completely fresh, this isn’t it. If you want a reading that’s proved itself a thousand times because it’s very good, it is.
Length. Around 90 seconds at a wedding pace.
2. “Union” — Robert Fulghum
A modern classic from Fulghum’s book True Love. The passage begins “You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment…” and reflects on how a wedding is a public declaration of what’s already been true privately.
Why it works. It reframes the ceremony itself. Rather than a beginning, marriage becomes a formal acknowledgement of something that already exists — which is how most couples getting married actually feel. It gives everyone in the room a moment to reflect without being heavy.
Best for. Couples who’ve been together a long time before getting married. Couples for whom the wedding day feels less like changing everything and more like making official what’s already true.
Watch for. Fulghum’s writing is warm and direct — resist the urge to read it in an overly poetic way. It works best delivered as if the reader is telling the room something important, not performing it.
Length. Around 60-75 seconds.
3. “Yes I’ll Marry You, My Dear” — Pam Ayres
The British answer to the emotional reading. Ayres’s poem lists all the practical reasons the narrator wants to marry — help with the housework, someone to fix things, company at the pub — in a warm, gently satirical voice that sits perfectly in a British wedding.
Why it works. It breaks the emotional register without cheapening the ceremony. Guests laugh. The couple laugh. The whole room warms up. It’s also a proper counterpoint to the more American-flavoured readings, and works well after a more serious first reading if you’re doing two.
Best for. Weddings with a warm, informal tone. Couples who don’t take themselves too seriously. Read best by someone comfortable with delivery — a mother, an aunt, a best friend with a wry sense of humour.
Watch for. The rhythm and comic timing need a reader who can carry them. Give whoever’s reading it time to practise — it’s not something to read cold.
Length. Around 45-60 seconds, and worth every second of the laughs.
4. “i carry your heart with me” — E.E. Cummings
Short, poetic, deeply romantic. Cummings’s poem opens with the title line and continues in that quiet, tender register that couples with a literary bent will recognise straight away.
Why it works. It’s the shortest and most direct on this list — under a minute read aloud — and it sits neatly at the emotional core of a civil ceremony. Cummings’s lower-case style gives it a whispered quality that suits the intimacy of the moment.
Best for. Couples who want something that reads more like a poem than a prose passage. Ceremonies with a slightly more traditional or poetic feel. Reads well by a sibling, a close friend, or someone with a natural feel for verse.
Watch for. The punctuation and layout are unusual — the reader should study the poem beforehand so the line breaks don’t throw them. Once they’ve got the rhythm, it flows beautifully.
Length. Around 45 seconds.
5. Extract From The Velveteen Rabbit — Margery Williams
The conversation where the Skin Horse explains to the rabbit what it means to be “real.” It’s from a children’s book, and it might be the least obvious wedding reading on this list — which is exactly why it works.
Why it works. The passage is about love that lasts. The kind that makes you “real” through being loved for a long time, through being worn thin at the edges, through the ordinary business of being with someone. It’s about durability, not romance, and it lands with couples who are getting married because they know each other properly rather than because they’re at the fizzy stage.
Best for. Couples who’ve been together for years before marrying. Second marriages. Couples who quietly prefer being a bit unusual to being conventional. Reads beautifully by a parent, a godparent, or an old friend.
Watch for. The reader needs to lean into the fact that this is a fairy-tale conversation between the Skin Horse and the Rabbit. Delivered warmly, it’s one of the loveliest readings you can have at a wedding. Delivered flatly, it can feel like a bedtime story. Practise it.
Length. Around 90-120 seconds.
Practical Tips for Any Reading
Once you’ve chosen, a few things that make the delivery work.
Give the reader plenty of notice — at least a month, longer if you want them to practise properly. Asking someone to read at a wedding is a small honour and a real responsibility.
Print the reading in a large font, on a proper card or a piece of decent paper rather than a folded A4 sheet from the printer. It’ll be held in front of a hundred people and needs to be easy to see.
Ask the reader to practise aloud, standing up. Silent reading is very different from reading in front of a room, and the rhythm, pace and breath all need practice.
Confirm the reading with the registrar in advance. Personal readings need to be non-religious and pre-approved, and the registrar will build them into the ceremony structure. Our full post on civil wedding ceremonies at Selden Barns covers the ceremony choices process in more depth.
Two readings is often the sweet spot. One shorter, one longer. One more serious, one lighter. Placed either side of the vows or bracketing the moment. Three starts to overload the ceremony.
Have a backup reader in mind. If your chosen reader is nervous, ill on the day, or overwhelmed by the moment, someone else needs to be ready to step in. Your coordinator can hold a spare copy to hand to another guest if it comes to it.
A Final Thought on Choosing
The reading you should pick isn’t necessarily the “best” one on this list. It’s the one that says something you actually want said at your ceremony, that suits the room you’ll be in, and that you can imagine hearing again in three years’ time without cringing.
Read all five aloud, at home, together. Time them. Notice which ones make one of you nod. The one you both keep coming back to is probably the one.
See Your Ceremony Space
The mood of a reading changes depending on where you’re standing when you hear it — a garden ceremony feels different from an indoor barn ceremony, and the reading that suits one might not suit the other. The three ceremony spaces at Selden Barns each have their own atmosphere, and it’s worth walking through them before you settle on the words.
Book onto our next open evening →
Whichever reading you choose, remember it’s a supporting act rather than the main event. Pick something warm, keep it short, and let it hand the room over to what you’re about to say to each other.