Two ceremonies, one afternoon: Susie & Deshan at Selden Barns
Guest post by Barrie Downie, wedding photographer.
Susie and Deshan got married here in September, and they did it twice in an afternoon. A civil ceremony at three o’clock in the ceremony barn with the Sussex registrars, then a Sri Lankan Poruwa outside under the oak pergola. If you are looking at Selden Barns and wondering whether it can carry two ceremonies back to back, two sets of traditions, and a guest list that flew in from three countries, the short answer is that it did, and nobody was rushed.
I have photographed a few weddings here now, so this is partly about their day and partly about what this place does when you ask something unusual of it.
The ceremony barn
The barn is a straightforward room to get married in, which is a compliment. Timber overhead, light that comes in from the side rather than straight down, and a short aisle. The registrars ran it the way Sussex registrars do: warm, quick, no fuss. Vows, rings, signing, done in not much over twenty minutes.
The oak pergola
Everyone moved outside for the Poruwa, the traditional Sri Lankan ceremony, held on a decorated platform. Guests were seated in rows down the path with the pergola at the end of it, which is the same setup couples use for an outdoor civil ceremony here, just pressed into a different job.
The Poruwa itself is close-up and full of movement. Betel leaves offered to parents and elders. The couple’s little fingers tied with thread and water poured over the knot. Blessings sung over the top of it. There were Kandyan dancers and a drummer on the lawn, and a stand of small gold pots that Susie and Deshan filled with milk, one after another, with the drum going the whole time. Guests who had never seen any of it before were watching properly, phones down.
The practical note for anyone planning something similar: the gap between the two ceremonies was short, and it worked because the two spaces are a minute apart. Nobody had to be herded anywhere. If you are planning a civil ceremony plus a cultural one, that distance is the thing to check at every venue you visit, and it is the thing Selden quietly gets right.
The bits in between
Drinks on the lawn, then group photographs, which on this day were the part that mattered most. Susie and Deshan had family over from the United States and from Sri Lanka as well as the Sussex contingent, and that is a set of people who almost never stand in the same field at the same time. We worked through the full list without hurrying: wedding party, both sides of the family, cousins, everyone together in front of the farmhouse.
For couple portraits there is more here than most people expect. The flower swing under the trees, the flint wall, the paddock fence with the fields behind it, and the lawn in late light. We used all four and were never more than a couple of minutes from the guests.
The evening
Wedding breakfast in the barn, cake, speeches, and then Dipesh from Tailor Made Beats filled the place for the evening. Fairy lights up in the roof, dancefloor busy from the first song. We slipped out for ten minutes at sunset while everyone was still at the tables and had them back before anyone noticed they had gone. Mid-September light does not wait around.
If you are considering Selden Barns
What this day proved is that the venue is flexible without being a blank box. The barn handles a formal ceremony, the pergola handles an outdoor one, the lawn absorbs dancers and drummers and a hundred-odd people with drinks, and the grounds give you real variety for photographs inside a very small radius.
Susie and Deshan found me through a Selden Barns recommendation, which I was glad about. I have written more about photographing weddings at Selden Barns on my own site, including how I work around a ceremony here, and the full story of Susie and Deshan’s day with more photographs is there too.
Congratulations again to both of them. It was a good day to be here with a camera.
The day in detail
Venue: Selden Barns
Ceremonies: Civil ceremony in the ceremony barn with the Sussex registrars, followed by a Sri Lankan Poruwa under the oak pergola
Saree: Colombo, Sri Lanka
Evening dress: Free People
Groom’s attire: Marc Anthony
Flowers: Suice Floral
Hair & makeup: Gemma Souter
Cake: M&S
Music: Dipesh, Tailor Made Beats
Photography: Barrie Downie Photography