Church Ceremony

Should you wish to choose a religious ceremony, there are several churches located in surrounding villages to Selden Barns that may be able to assist you. If you live outside of the parish, they may have certain criteria they need you to meet prior to accepting to conduct your ceremony.

Civil Ceremony

Selden Barns is approved by West Sussex County Council as a venue for Civil Marriage/ Partnership. Should you choose a civil ceremony, you will need to contact WSCC Registrars Office directly to make registrar arrangements.  They will supply you with the information necessary to satisfy all the necessary legal requirements.

Civil Ceremony Music & Readings

Music, whether it be recorded or live musicians (String quartet, harpist, pianist, piper), can really add to the atmosphere of the wedding ceremony. Additionally, asking a close friend or family member to read a poem or extract from a book can be a lovely way to personalise the service.

A civil ceremony is secular therefore no religious content is allowed for the duration of the ceremony. You should check with the Registrars as to the suitability of your music and readings/ poems in advance to avoid disappointment.

The three pieces of music need to be chosen for the following:

1. Entrance of the Bride (The Processional)
2. The Signing of the Register (up to three, 3-minute songs)
3. Departure of the Bridal Party (The Recessional)

In our ceremony barn, we have a speaker suitable for connection to your iPhone or other personal music systems.

Here is our example Order of the Day which is more commonly used for civil ceremonies here at Selden Barns. If you have a church wedding, arriving here at the Barns from the church at 2:45 pm will ensure all other timings are accurate. A typical wedding can be outlined as follows:

9:00 am

Bridal party arrive at Selden Barns. The getting ready room will be available from this time, beauticians / Hairdressers may also have access at this time.

1:00 pm

Key members of the wedding party relax on the terrace with a drink at the bar and welcome guests as they arrive. The photographer may choose to take some photographs at this stage.

1:15 pm

Registrars arrive at Selden Barns.

1:30 pm

Your Wedding Coordinator will arrange for you both to see the registrars separately, ahead of your ceremony.

1:45 pm

First look takes place.

1:50 pm

Guests are invited to take their seats for the ceremony.

2:00 pm

Your Wedding Coordinator will then escort you and your key members to your ceremony space, lining up in the order of procession.

2:02 pm

Your Wedding Coordinator will signal to the registrar that the ceremony can commence. The ceremony usually lasts about 25 minutes depending on whether there are readings. This will include the formal signing of the register.

2:30 pm

Congratulations!! A confetti throw can be held outside the ceremony barn or on the lawns which makes a lovely photograph.

2:45 pm 

Your drinks, canapés and garden games can all be enjoyed within the walled garden (or the terrace if the weather is adverse) and photographs are taken during this time.

4:15 pm

Your Wedding Coordinator ( or master of ceremonies ) will invite your guests into the main barn. This is a good time to spend 10 minutes together as newlyweds.

4:30 pm

The Best Man or master of ceremonies will announce you both into the room.                             

4:40 pm

Wedding Breakfast commences

6:00 pm

Speeches (if before dessert)

6:20 pm

Dessert (or speeches if after dessert)

7:00 pm

As newlyweds you can mingle with your guests (tea & coffee served during this time) whilst Evening Guests start to arrive

7:45 pm

Cutting the Cake

8:00 pm

1st Dance

8:05 pm

Band/DJ begins

8:30 pm

The DJ/Band will announce the Evening food (set up & cleared down by caterers)

10:15 pm

Live music finishes, DJ can continue until 11:45pm

11:15 pm

Last orders at the bar called

11:30 pm

Bar closes

11:45 pm

DJ finishes and taxis arrive

Midnight

Finish (guests depart)

Consideration is necessary as to whether you wish to have a traditional top table or a more informal round Top Table; both have advantages and disadvantages!
The straight Top Table allows guests to see the newlyweds easily.
The round Top Table will assist those who prefer a little less formality, or couples who have family structures that do not conform to the traditional table layout.
The following diagram outlines the “Traditional” format for Top Table. Remember it is your day and you should locate people as you wish.
Away from the Top Table, guests traditionally sit at round tables, with families positioned closest to the Top Table. The following two diagrams outline how our average numbers of 100 are accommodated with either option.

Traditionally, the Bride and Groom and both sets of parents greet the remaining friends and family as they enter the room for the Wedding Breakfast.

This gives an excellent opportunity, particularly for the Bride and Groom to speak to all their guests at least once during the day.  This formality is once again optional as you should consider the time it takes within the schedule of your day.

More and more couples break from tradition now and take a turn round all the tables of guests during the meal talking to everyone.

When all the guests are comfortably at their tables, we ask the Best Man to request everybody to stand to receive the newlyweds.
The happy couple will then take their places at the top table. Everybody will be seated so the wedding breakfast can be served.
During this time, background music can be played to help your guests relax.

There are ‘traditionally’ three wedding speeches conducted in the following order, but we understand tradition doesn’t fit everyone.

1. Father of the Bride
   
2. Groom
   
3. Best Man
   

The speeches will usually start at the end of the meal or between the main course and dessert, before which the staff will deliver a flute of bubbly to each guest. Your wedding coordinator will prompt the first person to speak. We have a microphone which may be used.

Here at Selden Barns, we like to wait until the evening guests have arrived before the wedding cake is cut. This makes the evening guests feel as though they have come to a wedding, not just a party. Though traditionally, the newlyweds cut their wedding cake after the coffee has been served, we like to wait until around 7:45 pm and then proceed to the 1st dance!
The DJ or Best man will need to make an announcement that the couple wish to cut their wedding cake and invite everybody and any photographers to come forward. After the symbolic cut, the cake is taken away and cut up for serving with evening food.

You will have the option to book either a live band, a DJ or both! Please be aware that at Selden Barns, a band is permitted, but we do have noise rules that we explain to all suppliers.
Though they may provide earlier background music, the band or DJ will play for your 1st dance, so begin choosing your personal favourite as soon as possible.
Your band/DJ, will be positioned at the end of the dance floor. We do prefer for bands and DJs to set up on the morning of your special day; however, for some, this is not always possible. Do bear in mind that bands/DJs and photographers all like to be fed on the day. This can be discussed with your caterer.